Letting things go can be a challenging process sometimes. Everything is temporary, impermanent, always changing. So why do we get so hooked up on things if we know it is always going to change? Life is a constant balance of letting in the new and letting go of the old. It is a unique dance of give and receive. For most of us the drama that comes with this process can produce much anxiety, stress and hardship. We lose sight of the big picture and only focus on the small picture. What really matters is ‘Happiness’.
If we can learn the secret to dancing through the crazy ups and downs of life with joy in our hearts and minds we can find true happiness. J. Krishnamurti, the great Indian Philosopher explains of his secret - “I don’t mind what happens”. What he is really saying is that when you let go of the outcome, stop worrying about the future or past and just be ok with the unfolding grace of the universe - everything will work itself out.
Here are 5 tips on the process of Letting Go.
Focus your attention on other things. This doesn’t mean ignoring or pretending the situation doesn’t exist. Shifting your attention can be a really empowering place to create a new perspective. Focus your mind on the positives of the situation and have some gratitude towards yourself and others. Bring in feelings of kindness and put yourself in someone else’s shoes. How does this situation affect others?
Being compassionate to yourself and the other person or situation is like finding the needle in the haystack. Be kind and sincere with your reactions even if you are wrong. People behave badly for all sorts of reasons but most act out of fear or confusion.
The ego or identity likes to be right. Righteousness can leave us feeling angry, hurt, stuck, overwhelmed or powerless to do anything to change the situation. Stop and think if the need to be right is more important than the need to be happy. Being right or wrong is our ego needing to feel superior or even victimised.
Change is a such a cathartic expression of life handing us options for creating a better reality. Resistance to change can leave us feeling stuck and powerless. This only feeds our feelings and we can develop some pretty stubborn habits.
Embrace the changes by finding a new curiosity for the unknown. Life is much more exciting when we learn to see everything as if for the first time. So why should change be any different. The only thing stopping us from moving forward is our fear, and fear can be a pretty heavy energy to carry around.
If you have a passion, a calling to do something then do it! No-one is responsible for your happiness but you. Yoga and meditation are great practices to keep you grounded in the NOW when so much around is changing or unknown.
Come back to the things, activities or people that feed your soul, that spark the fire in the heart, that inspires the creativity within to run wild. If you don’t know what that is, try something new and different. Exercise, walk in the park, pat a puppy dog, read a book, play music, whatever it is, keep coming back to the joy in you.
Holding onto judgement will only keep the mind fixated on blame and resentment. Accept and forget that what is done is done and there is no going back, only moving forward. The mind will always keep taking us back through the storybook of drama if we let it. Move on from this old story and create a new one. Acceptance and forgiveness will be the road to freedom.
Use a mantra or affirmation to help remind you if you feel judgement brewing again. “I don’t mind what happens”, “I can choose positive thoughts”, “I accept what is”. Find your own statement and use it to reset your beliefs.
What really matters is how we let things go to shape our lives for something better. It is a choice. Just like the leaves that fall off the trees in Autumn, preparing for new fresh stronger leaves in Spring. Trust in these cycles and all will come full circle.